Let me ramble while I cook some chicken.

So I've finally decided to completely stop editing Eleison, and may start posting bits and pieces of it here. If one of the 30ish~ Literary Agents I've contacted doesn't get back to me I'll most likely end up going the route of self-publishing. I'd much rather start my next project and keep the creative juices flowing.

That being said, creating a visual novel entirely alone is going to take quite some time... I don't see the project being done before two years are up, but oh well... guess I'll just give it my all and keep committed. I feel confident in doing every part of it other than the CGs, I think I could manage the art for the backgrounds and sprites, but I love those fantastic CGs that you're rewarded with as routes go on. Guess it'll all come down to practice, practice, practice.

I'm about 30% through Fate/Stay Night. I like it so far, I'm really hoping it loves up to it's hype and I can add it on that top 10 list I plan on writing up soon. One thing I didn't like about the 'Fate' route was the fact that nearly every time somebody 'died' they were actually fine the next moment. The writing tries to make the reader think a character is dead everytime they withstood some sort of great attack, and then they, in fact, survive. It's a cliche that most Shonen's have I know, but it's something that really only takes away from a fight sequence or when somebody actually dies. If I think somebody has died 7 times within a story, it'll be much less dramatic when they actually do. The amount of h-scenes started to get to me as well, but many visual novel authors are forced to write h-scenes so the game sells better.

More Angel Beats information came out recently. The visual novel will be released in about 6 parts, with a new installation every 6 months. The first part of the novel will be released in spring of 2014, so we'll have new Angel Beats material until 2016. The article (http://yaraon.blog109.fc2.com/blog-entry-19583.html) also mentions that every character will have a route (TK!) and the FIRST installation will have more CGs alone than Clannad. Pretty awesome news, in my opinion... I just hope that whoever translates it does it as fast as they possibly can, super hyped about this VN.

Refrain has also began airing. Kurugaya's route was rushed, but well done for the 3 episodes it lasted. JC Staff has been doing a fine job thus far, I just can't imagine them fitting all of Rin2 and Refrain into the remaining episodes. Refrain is one of my favorite true routes of all time, and I'd hate to see them destroy the anime adaption, as it is great potential to get more people playing VNs. The biggest complaint I have about the newest episode (First episode of Rin2) was the text face Rin wrote in her message was wrong, and not the one she used in the VN. This sounds like an extremely stupid complaint, but it's actually somewhat significant for a scene later on that really strangled my soul.

That's about all I have for now, I'll have a full review of Fate/Stay up as soon as I finish it, which should hopefully be by the end of next week. I've had 'Heartbeat, Heartbreak' by Shoji Meguro, from the Persona 4 OST on repeat for about 6 hours now... it's such a fantastically relaxing song.  http://www.youtuberepeater.com/watch?v=isw1ZCMK5-g

Macabre, Horror, and The Human Mind

           

    

My name is Luca, and I've found the only "paranormal" thing in this world that is absolutely true. I'm not here to tell some ghost or monster story, I'm here to tell you about the living hell that I have unlocked.

About three years ago I went through a terrible breakup and, because of this, I wound up having severe anxiety and panic attacks. I couldn't sleep at night, and when I did I would wake up a few hours later in a shaking fit. I'd remain in bed for hours on end until the Sun was re-acquainted with the sky. I stopped going out completely and would spend all my sleepless nights on various websites, searching for something out of this world. Something outside of the normal everyday life that people are used to. I used to read into all of the horror stories and creepypasta and false accounts of apparitions and urban legends that I wanted so badly to believe in.

There was nothing. After spending countless months searching through the deepest parts of the web for some kind of secret in our world, I realized... there is nothing. The internet has been around for quite some time now, and there is absolutely no proof of anything paranormal to have ever happened. My depression grew deeper.

I started to have night terrors. Terrible, terrible dreams that began to seep into reality. I began to hallucinate. The first time I can recall it happening, I woke up in the middle of the night, and drifted in and out of slumber. I caught something in the corner of my eye, and at the foot of my bed I see three figures dressed in black staring lifelessly down at the ground. Then to my left, on the side of my bed is a man, naked, skinless, grasping towards the sky in agony. I can see his eyes staring straight up as he continues to try and reach for something just out of grasp. I shoot up as fast as I can, obviously not believing my eyes, and they all disappear at once.

Another instance of this happening was after a session of three all-nighters. After finally falling asleep, I awoke to rapid movement in the corner of my room. I rise from my bed and let my eyes focus, and about ten feet away from me is a large winged beast, I couldn't make out its face in the darkness, but it looked similar to a pterodactyl rapidly flapping it's wings and facing me. After staring, once again, in disbelief at this hallucination, it begins to fly straight at me. In that instant I brace for impact, and put all my strength into punching the monster. I close my eyes and swing as hard as I can right when it should have collided with me. I fall out of bed. I get up and search my surroundings, it is gone yet again.

On and on it went. From once a month, to once a week, to every day. Then, was the man that did not leave.

I'm on my computer again, browsing... searching for something that could not be found... something foreign to everyday life. It's about 3am now, I feel a tad bit sleepy and lay back in my computer chair and stretch. Then, I sit back up and gaze out my window into the dark abyss of the night. Only, on this particular night, I'm greeted by a red man staring back at me. Of course, I'm startled right out of my seat, and scream in a panic. Did I mention I live on the second story? I catch my breath and stand back up, expecting him to be gone. The man, with what looks to be red paint covering his face is still there, staring straight at me. I shout at him again, he isn't startled, no... he makes no reaction whatsoever. Just stares directly into my eyes. I close my blinds, and do the best I can to forget he is there. Hell, he is there right now, staring at me, just outside this shield of blinds I sit next to.

My final attempt at sanity was to move away for some time. I lived at a friend's house for a couple weeks not too long after the red man incident. I slept great. I saw nothing. I lived in his living room, and hadn't searched for anything horror related during this time. I would attend school during the day, he'd work, it was the calmest my life was in quite some time. Then the tapping came. Everywhere I went... there was always this quiet rhythmatic tapping within the walls next to me. Whether I was at school, the post office, or my friend's house. It would follow me everywhere I traveled. It was as if there was a man crawling in the walls, trying to get my attention. The tapping grew faster and faster each day. Towards the end of this endeavor, and the reason I no longer am at his house, was due to the end of the tapping. Driving home from class one night the tapping grew more rapid at a much faster rate. Within the front of my car I could hear what sounded like human nails on my metal hood. I park my car, and just before I enter his house, the tapping stops abruptly. I look around, thankful that I no longer have to be annoyed by this dumb audio hallucination, and step inside.

Inside, all around the living room are about seven or eight of my friend, all with ever-so-slightly distorted faces. Some had eyes that were slightly out of place, or lips that didn't match up correctly. Basically defected versions of my friend.

I was furious the hallucinations came back. I began to swing at all of them in a rage. Nothing connected obviously, well aside from the final hit that knocked out my friend and caused all of the false-friends to disappear. Needless to say I don't live there anymore...

And this brings us to present time. I just needed to let this out, so thank you for your time. I live in a world plagued by the demons in my mind. They no longer disappear after time, my apartment is filled with torment. I have a family of three in my kitchen that simply stare at me, follow my every move. There are rather large spiders that skitter around the ceiling, and hide when I look at them. Blasts of exploding TV static in the dead of the night. And other random deformed, off-humans in every corner of my home. The scariest part to me is the fact that I can now hear them, the hallucinations. I'm dreading any other senses bearing this curse.

And so, friends, I'll leave you with this. Be careful what you fill your mind with, It can play some very nasty tricks on you. You can search for creepypasta, horror, and the macabre all you want... but nothing is more frightening than the human mind.

Moon.

*Yawn* Hello again. So I've been quite busy talking to editors, emailing literary agents, and working out (broIlift) which are all great things in my book. I managed to complete Moon, and finished the first two routes of One in between all of that. Some other good news is; I should have my short horror story up on this blog at some point this week, and I plan on -finally- starting some character designs for my next project. I probably won't post any of the art here since I'm a terrible, terrible artist... I'll get there though. I can handle the Writing, coding, and music parts of a VN, but my art skills are still absolutely atrocious =(

That being said, Moon. Moon was the very first game that Jun Maeda had a hand in creating, and it is ridiculous how different it is from his main works. First off, this game came out in 1997, so it is quite dated, however, it actually does have a couple movie sequences, and a map that you're required to navigate. In that sense it's a much more 'active' visual novel as opposed to just text and pictures. The map that you have to navigate is fun at first, but then becomes quite monotonous after the first couple days. Theres one part in particular where you have to descend 20 floors, and it isn't a good time for anyone involved.

Moon is very much so a psychological thriller/horror, and is extremely graphic. Torture and rape are very prominent throughout the game. The story is as follows; the main character, Ikumi, finds out that the death of her mother had something to do with this organization named FARGO. FARGO is basically a religious cult that promises to give people an 'invisible strength' which is a form of telekinesis. Ikumi decides to enter the facility to try and uncover the mystery of her mother's death, unfortunately once you're in FARGO you're locked inside the facility and cannot leave. She meets a few friends, as well as, a mysterious boy who works for FARGO, but oddly helps her in the search to uncover the 'truth.' It's a very short time before she finds that the way FARGO teaches people how to use this 'invisible strength' is through mental and physical torture. It is explained that the only way you can obtain and be able to control such power is through severe mental and physical trauma. Throughout the game you relive certain events of Ikumi's past that she'd rather not recollect, and also watch friends of yours suffer in the worst possible ways.

In the end, I thought Moon was a great story. The map section still bugs me, if you're the kind of person that likes to get 100% CGs it's going to take much longer than needed solely because of the slow navigation. I do suggest using a guide to get the true ending, there's a good amount of decisions, and the correct answer isn't always the obvious one. Anyone who knows me knows that I love the dark, twisted stories, so this was right up my alley... and to my surprise, I had no idea it was going to be -nearly- as screwed up as it was.

And that's how I feel about Moon. I may or may not write about One when I finish it. It's a mediocre story, and pretty much just feels like an infant version of what Kanon would be afterwards. Something I'd like to do is do some kind of top 5 VN list and top 10 overall route list at some point soon. I think I'll do that. I'll also be starting Fate/Stay after I finish One.

Anyways, I'll try and update this way more often (2-3 times a week) so look forward to it. Any questions or comments about anything I talk about in any of my posts feel free to reply directly or you can email me at jgigola@gmail.com

~sweet dreams

Planetarian

Zzzz, it's been a bit. Sorry, I do that from time to time.

I've managed to completely finish writing Eleison, and now have found an editor that is willing to, well, edit everything for me... for a price of course. I think I'll do so once I have cash available. From here on I'm going to start working on a short horror story that I've had in my head the past couple days, and finally start world-building my next project.

Other than that, I've been playing a few VNs... finally finished Ef: A Tale of the Two, started Moon, and also finished, what the majority of this post will be about, Planetarian.
For those that don't know, Planetarian is a lesser known Visual Novel by Key. It came out after Clannad, and didn't have any Maeda influence.  The art director was the same as Rewrite, Itaru Hinoue, which is awesome, because I love her art style.

Basically what's going on in Planetarian is as follows. It's a post-apocalyptic world and the main character is a Junker. After a scuffle with a few fellow Junkers he ends up in a planetarium where he meets our main female, Reverie. Reverie is an android programmed to greet people, and basically run the showing for the Planetarium. Now, the apocalypse happened about 30 years ago, however, Reverie still acts accordingly, and practices her greetings as if there is nothing wrong, and customers still comes multiple times a day. The MC is very hot-headed, and tends to just be annoyed with Reverie throughout the first half. Eventually the MC is able to see the showing that was meant for the 250,000th customer, which is basically a recap of the world and the stars. The MC is greatly moved, but he must go, and Reverie goes with him, and I won't spoil the rest.

One thing about this VN is the setting and overall story in general is extremely depressing. It explores the mindset of both characters, and Reveries especially, is interesting. She doesn't understand anything about all of the death and decay that fell upon the city. When the MC tells her that nobody is alive, and nobody else is coming to the Planetarium, it simply does not compute. It takes awhile, but her character does develop a good amount, especially after leaving the Planetarium with the MC.

Overall I would say Planetarian is definitely worth the playthrough, seeing as I beat it in just about 2-3 hours. It's super short, but it gets the job done. If it was any longer I'd say the theme and setting were too oppressive, so be warned... this VN is not happy.

Anyways that about wraps it up. I'll probably write something about Moon next... maybe... who knows. Moon took me by surprise, I didn't expect it to be nearly as lewd as it is. For now, have a nice life, later.

Tohno's route in Air and the key differences from the anime.

Ahhh, Air. Since 13 years later a team of awesome individuals over at "Gao Gao Translations" decided to get together and finally fully translate the "Cursed" Visual Novel, I was finally able to experience the story the way it was intended (aside from the beta translations, of course.) I say "cursed" because several teams of attempted to translate Air in the past, and all of them randomly C&D'd about halfway through, needless to say I've been super excited to finally play it.

I'll go over Misuzu's/Summer/Air route at a later date, and I probably won't touch Kano's route because I wasn't that impressed by it.

To give a bit of a backstory on this route, Tohno is basically a dandere that plays with a tsundere girl named Michiru. After the relationship development in the common route with both of them, you find out that Tohno's mother is mentally ill. After losing her would-be second daughter to a miscarriage, she starts to confuse Tohno with her miscarried sister, Michiru.

Spoilers start here~



So basically, in the visual novel the theme of dreams plays a much bigger role than the anime. This is most likely due to setting up the Summer and Air routes, as both Kano and Tohno's route act as introductions to different elements of the true routes. In the anime Tohno's friend, Michiru, basically confirms that it is, in-fact, her daughter coming back to make Tohno happy. In the VN, however, This isn't outright confirmed, and makes room for much more open-ended interpretations. Basically what we get out of the VN is Michiru confirming that she asked the girl in the sky (who is cursed to constantly dream sad dreams eternally); to come to earth and make happy memories with Tohno. So in a sense we kinda have the whole astral projection theme that we had in Kanon, as well as, Clannad... save the fact that Michiru didn't currently exist on earth.... until the end of the route, where it is revealed that Tohno's father had a child with his new wife... named Michiru.
Another major difference from the VN is, Tohno actually blames herself for her the death of her sister, because she prayed to sacrifice anything to save her mother. In the anime the only touching on this was when Tohno said her curse was "wishing" for a sister. Basically just a darker theme on the story that the decided to leave out, possibly for time constraints (compressing 30+ hours to 12 episodes never really works out).

My interpretation of the VN is as follows. Tohno dreamed of having a little sister, and being able to be herself rather than mistaken for her sister since she was no longer able to be herself. In her "dream world" she created her image of the little sister she could have had if all went well, this allowed Michiru to become a physical being with the help of the girl in the sky. With this girl Tohno was able to be herself, and have the little sister she always wanted. This resulted, however, in Tohno becoming stagnant and not move forward (which is one last thing I'll touch on). Once she was able to meet Yukito and take her first step towards moving on, Michiru disappeared. After this, it turned out that she did have a little sister all along from her father, who greatly resembled the little sister she made in her head. This is due to the repeating timeline and "dreams" of the girl in the sky. Since Michiru was able to give the girl in the sky happy memories, this repeated memory was no longer sad, therefore the time they spent together was no longer a sad memory, and Michiru, indeed exists.

Last thing I wanted to talk about was the overall meaning of this route. Basically, the message is about moving forward. Tohno was happy that she had her friend to play with, even if she wasn't happy at home with her mentally ill mother. She knew she had to take the initiative and make steps forward, confront her mother, etc, but she didn't want to, possibly because she knew it would end with her dream's demise, and the disappearance of Michiru. She was in a comfortable place, even if she knew it wasn't perfect, it was somewhere that she could be happy. Then, Yukito helps her make the first step, and she moves on, and finds that she had a little sister all along. She had no reason to be afraid, what she longed for was there the entire time, she just had to move forward to find it. You may be saying "but wait! it doesn't go with your theory! The real Michiru would have never existed, so she had to be sad, she was right to dream!" Right you are correct. In life, things get you down, and you may dream of something you wish for and nothing else. You want it, but don't take the first step to get there. Taking the first step sucks, and you'll wind up going through a lot of rough times, blood, sweat, and tears, as they say... But in the end, if you manage to break through the dream, and try hard enough, it can become a reality. I can't tell you it's going to bring back dead siblings, but you never know what life has in store until you try~

~End spoilers

~John

img src: http://konachan.com/post/show/4910

You can find the translation patch here - http://gaogaotranslation.wordpress.com/

whoami

Ello, ello. My name is John Gigola, and this is my random space on the internet to type about random things that enter my mind and refuse to leave.

A bit about me... I'm 23 years old, too poor for my Bachelor's, too rich for student loans. I'm currently working on getting my first novel published (Hello publishers!) and honing my drawing, music, and coding skills to start my next project, a Visual Novel.

Speaking of Visual Novels, I'll probably be writing some reviews of the things I read and watch on here aside from my random thoughts. Visual Novel routes, books, anime. Back on to the topic of Visual Novels... My ultimate goal with my writing is so open up the first major Visual Novel Studio. I love Key and all of their/Jun Maeda's work, I want to bring those kind of feels to the west. It only makes sense for me to write Visual Novels really... I've been making music since I was 7, writing since I was 6, and well... I know how to code, so in a sense it's all of my passions put together. Here's to the future, /cheers.

Swinging it back to me again, I have a podcast/webshow I do every Tuesday (give or take...) with a few friends of mine called "NEET Days" where we talk about Video game, anime, and general nerd news for about an hour. Come check us out on facebook at facebook.com/NEETDays, and on twitter at "@NEETDaysTV"

I think that's enough for my "about me" ramblings for now. I'll try and update this a few times a week as my schedule allows between the editing of my novel and my other projects. I'll talk a bit about those as well as time progresses.